2013 – the Schroeder show

Wow, did this year FLY by or was it just me? I have loved seeing other peoples’ flipgram things on Facebook and Instagram reminiscing on events and pictures throughout the year, and I couldn’t help but think of what a year it’s been for Cam and I. This year, I have found myself growing and learning more about myself than ever before. Unfortunately, most of that learning has come from awareness of my own weaknesses and tendencies, but I have been ever so grateful for the wonderful, patient, loving husband Cam has been through it all. The year started off great and it was not soon after I started to feel like something was missing. I had an amazing husband, warm home, flexible job, and family close but for some reason I’d still find myself sad. Yet, it was mostly those things that would set me off. I’m usually a very happy, easy-going person but I would find myself getting irritated easier, very impatient, and sweating the “small stuff” more than I usually do. Then, I would beat myself up about how many personal things I needed to work on. It finally hit us both that perhaps it was time to start our little family. After long talks and much tearful nights, I couldn’t deny what we both felt. Cam was gun-ho about the idea from day one and shamefully I can’t say I was. Then, the cycle of feeling bad for not being gun-ho about the idea would start and seemingly never end. After all, I studied marriage and family at college and promised myself I would always be the biggest advocate for families and wholesome family life. I was disappointed with myself for feeling so apprehensive, but it still didn’t make it easier. But still, for some reason the thought of leaving behind “just the two of us” was so sad for me. I always have the hardest time closing doors to open new ones (anyone else hate change!?), but this one seem hardest. Finally, I decided I needed to trust a loving Heavenly Father who knows best, and of course He always does. I can’t say the uneasy, anxious feelings have left completely (in fact, there are still many nights Cam has to literally hold me until I fall asleep!), but the thought of doing the right thing at the right time feels so much better. I am trying to work on “me” a little more and choose to be as happy as I want to be. There is still a lot of room for improvement, but I can feel a new year coming on! So, here we are 15 weeks pregnant and ready for 2014… BRING IT! 🙂

Watched/documented Mike and Shanna’s engagement!

Celebrated our first Valentines together!

I got the new 27″ iMac at work and took classes in Graphic Design/Film/Photography classes! And, in the process of possibly starting a little something!