The boy with red shaggy hair, an old blue car, a love for Blink 182, and a silly personality…
October 2007. i remember stepping into a Stake Dance (my mom was in charge!) and finding a group of boys near the back (yeah, the “wall flowers” you find at every dance!). i knew a couple of them, but this one boy really stood out. i remember him making a couple joking comments to me as we all talked and i thought, “daaaannnng who is this cutie with the brown hat and shaggy hair?!” what can i say, i fell in love. i found him at school, looked up his name, and found out he was good friends with a girl i cheered with, Kylee. well, time passed and i started going to a kid named Kyle’s house to play guitar hero–it was the “thing” to do on the weekends!). i found Cameron there often! come to find out, he had a girlfriend though. Kylee would tell me all about him and how awesome he was (that didn’t help the situation, i was already weak at the knees for this kid i hardly knew!). we began to play guitar hero at Kyle’s house and started our own little “band!” the 2008 year came around and i set a new years resolution to get this kid’s number! February came around and he asked for MY digits (yep, new years resolution completed in February and i didn’t even have to do the asking!). i remember getting yelled at that day in cheer and was having the WORST day. then, right after lunch i passed his locker (i would make special effort to walk past the Senior hall and happen to pass by his locker. 🙂 my friend Haley was always my sidekick!). i remember he said something so smooth (or was it!? haha) like, “Hey, i need your digits so we can have band practice!” he had text me that night and that was just the first of a 24-7 daily texting spree!!!!! we hung out a lot and would sometimes even slough school to head home to grab my “softball clothes” and play the piano (he always wanted me to teach him!). well, my next mission (since my New Year’s resolution was complete!) was for him to ask me to Prom! I told Jen, who told Kylee, who told Cam, who asked me!!!!! 🙂 Which led to our first date! I was DYYYYYIINNGGGG that i finally had the chance to go out with this kid.
i flew home early from my softball tournament in St. George to go to breakfast at our friend Jake’s house, then to be picked up in a limo, flown (set up by Jake and Mykklyn who convinced (against my will–i thought no, i already honored as can be to go out with this kid, so don’t talk him into something crazy like that! but…. i thought it would be kinda fun too!) to SLC, ate dinner at Rodizio grill, danced the night away at Weber State’s ballroom, and then hung out at Caleb’s house! i wore a purple dress and he wore a white tux (our favorite colors!). i remember after breakfast he dropped me off and got out of his Dad’s red Dodge to give me a hug… i melted inside. 🙂 i invited him to my birthday dinner with my family at Market Street Grill (steak, Mmm!)
that summer was the best! then, it came time for my Senior year and his friends started leaving on missions. his first friend to leave, Michael, had also became my confidant (well just about all of them did! since Cam would leave them for his “other girl”, I’d hang out with them… had to take what i could, right!? haha) and told me i should lay it on the line for Cam (i KNEW he had to of known that i was OBSESSED with him, how could he not?!?) and ask if he liked me or not cuz i was coming to the edge of the roller coaster ride (does he like me? does he not?). so, the night he left (September 14th i think!) i laid it on the line and told him i liked him and needed to know if i should move on or what!? he said he still liked his “girlfriend”, but (yes, always those “buts…” that kept me hanging!!!!) there was a lot he wished he could tell me, but i had to wait for the right time! (what did that mean?!?) so, things continued and i think he thought i stopped liking him or something cuz come January things started to really pick up! i remember one day meeting him at the slopes and we skied a couple runs! i think it was that night that he ditched our “dice date” that i wanted him to come with me and a huge group. every time he’d ditch me, he felt bad, but i still held on cuz i liked him tooooo much to just give up! February came around and we held hands for the first time during a scary movie (i selected that one carefully 🙂 ha) we held hands for a bit and i about died! he broke things off completely with his girl and then we started dating a little more serious. he didn’t want to get too serious before his mission, but my next mission was to kiss this kid. i wanted him to just KISS ME ALREADY! but, he waited all the way until my 18th birthday to do it!
so, May 17th i had to begggggg my mom to let him come over and stay until at LEAST 1:00am… c’mon i had a kiss to win over! haha so, i finally convinced my Dad and Cam came over. my mom had a little smirk on her face cuz she knew it was coming! we attempted a night walk, only to turn around halfway cuz we were low on time and wanted to star gaze as well… aka kiss 🙂 12:00am came around and we were laying on my tramp. we started joking about kissing and i said, “I’m not going to help you out at all!” and turned my head the other way… he kept telling me to turn it a little closer and all the sudden he just kissed my lips (weirdest feeling in the world but i liked it! it was so surreal i couldn’t believe it!!!) he said, “was that scary?” and i said, “Nnnn…. uh yeah!” and he said, “Good enough to do again!?” and I said, “I don’t care!” and he did it AGAIN! i would’ve paid to read the thoughts in his mind cuz i did not move my lips one bit! he probably thought this girl has a loooooooong way to go! haha he said, “Okay, that’s probably good for the night!” well, i woke up to $1,000 bucks and breakfast in bed!
and, when i went to school everyone already knew because i had sent out a mass text that he finally kissed me! hahaha 🙂 he seemed to avoid me a little the next night at my party (probably a little embarrassed) and we didn’t kiss again until a couple nights later after my birthday dinner to Macaroni Grill. I don’t think it was until like the seventh time that i finally grasped the idea that a kiss was more than a “peck” but an actual “latch on” 🙂 haha i remember him saying, “That was a good one!” when i finally caught on! he finally told me the big thing he had to tell me (we would CONSTANTLY joke around about it and i thought i’d NEVER find out!)… i remember it was along the lines of, “I could really see myself marrying you!” i was the happiest girl ever! just a couple things needed to change (no “punk” moves or messing with my heart no more 🙂 haha which very well did after his!). we loved deep talks (DTs) in my car after mission prep at Jen’s house at our “spot” up on the mountain. i’m sure his parent’s even questioned why we’d stay up SOO late (4am one night! whoops!) in front of his house in my CAR just talking away! i could read him like a book and could tell he liked me, just couldn’t/wouldn’t admit it. i think that’s why i stuck around as well! it came time for his Mission to Campinas Brazil.
he left July 21, 2009 (didn’t arrive at the Brazil CTM until July 22, 2009). the worst part was that he had to be set apart July 19 cuz the Stake President decided to not do it on a Monday night (July 20).
so, we had our last date night on July 18th. we got take-out ABC Mandarin (Mongolian Beef, no vegetables… his FAVORITE!) and then watched Mrs. Doubtfire and cuddled! we ended the night with my gift (BFF bracelets (that he kept on the ENTIRE mission–my fell off about a year later in Hawaii!), a Elder Schroeder bag, “Don’t forget to read pillowcase, and movie of us that i made!). we watched the movie twice and his eyes “sweat” a lot! (so did mine 🙂 haha) then, we danced to “Unbelievable!” the next day we went to Cully’s farewell and then went on a drive (in his Dad’s new trck) up to our spot. our very last kiss was at the stop sign facing East as you approach Porter road. he was set apart. i remember that night was the Weber State’s fireworks and i was so confused as to what to do so i went with my friends. about 5 minutes before they started he told me all those who were with him. after finding out it wasn’t just his family, but a lot of our friends too, i felt so bad for not being there and left as soon as i could to watch the fireworks with him! i asked if i could sit close to him but remember feeling a little hesitant cuz i felt as if there was a huge veil between us–the “missionary mantle!” we went to his house after and watched our movie with his family and some friends again. the next day i went up to set up for Girls Camp and felt bad, but too awkward to go hang out with him like he wanted me too (yes, i was a little awkward with everything!). i finally went over that night after my Patriarchal blessing and felt bad i hadn’t came over earlier. he kept texting me that night and we all finally left around 4am! i was determined to be the last one out and after a couple pictures, he walked me to his car (both our hearts were killing!), put his head on my forehead and hand on my back, said, “this is the hardest thing i’ve done!”, gave me a couple kisses on the forehead, and watched me drive away. before i got home i had a text from him saying he found the big dipper first! (we always had competitions with each other–staying up the latest, finding the big dipper, loving each other more (now!), etc. guess we just HAVE to prove we’re the best!). he had written me a letter and i read it as i laid in bed with his shirt (drenched in Aqua di Gio cologne like i’d requested) on! the next morning he called me (saddest call ever!) and text me all the way to the airport. he even wore my tie i gave him! i was up at girls camp and felt sick to my stomach! 😦 but, after about a week and a letter, i was alright! i’d go to his house often and visit with his family. Christmas came around and i was invited to come talk with him–sooooo fun, yet heart-wrenching as he cried on the other line 😦 Mother’s day and the other 2 phone calls were a lot better and easier to get through! it was a little awkward to tell him i loved him with his family right there (plus, i felt so bad taking ANY of his strictly 40 minute call!). he got home July 12, 2011 and we started right where we left off.
i went to the airport (Brazil shirt, sign, and all!) and was shaking so bad as we “shook hands” for the first time! i went for the hug and got turned DOWN! (handshake, awesome!) i was so glad he wanted to be 100% obedient until he was set apart–that’s Cam for ya! we hung out at his house that night and then after everyone left, went on a drive to our spot. he felt so weird, but it was like old times (without the immature boy/girl i knew, and a lot more humble/spiritual giant than had left!). we said a prayer at his request and he thanked Heavenly Father for keeping me safe! we didn’t kiss, by the way. 🙂 haha the next day we hung out and that night went on a little golf cart ride to the back pasture where we danced to “Unbelievable” and a lot of other songs. we hugged, talked, and then YES KISSED!!!!! Yes, he asked what I wanted because he already knew—a little quick!? I was a little taken back for sure and said I wasn’t sure yet. from then on, we saw each other every single day we could and did about EVERYTHING from picnics, to rodeos, to boating, to night games. I left back to BYU that Fall and that was a hard move. Things moved a little slow, but i would come home on the weekends. It only took me 7 months (too much thinking and a lot less deciding) to finally realize how much i COULDN’T live without him and make up my mind to move forward with things.
And oh, I’m SOOOOO glad I did! Love you CJKilla, Cameron Jay, Canny, and Hans! 🙂